Heading off

If you read Monte's blog (which I don't think I've posted here before, but here it is: monteinthesand.blogspot.com), you know he is FINALLY leaving tomorrow. Yes, I know I said he was leaving last week. So much for that! While it is still possible that something will come up between now and lift off, as far as we know he will really and truly be getting on a plane tomorrow.

I'm more upset at the moment than I thought I would be. I've said the words, "My husband is going to Afghanistan" more times than I can count by now. I'm used to it. Saying it, anyway. With all of the delays I think a part of me started to believe he wasn't ever going to leave! Now that he is for sure (as sure as we can be, anyway), I'm thrown a bit off kilter.

It doesn't help that I'll be 16 weeks pregnant tomorrow - hormones, ugh. It also doesn't help that today is one week since my grandmother died. And it REALLY doesn't help that both AJ and Sammy are under the weather and thus are not sleeping well...which means mama doesn't sleep AT ALL. I am so ready for bed right now. AJ is playing his ABC game for a few minutes before I start the process of dragging him to bed. In the last few weeks he has developed a lot of fears. "I'm scared" is a frequent utterance now. Last night he came downstairs telling me he was scared of the dinosaurs in his room. I gave him a flashlight to keep in bed with him and that worked until about midnight, when he woke up scared yet again. I know this will pass - it's just hard to see that in the middle of the night when I haven't slept more than an hour at a stretch for more than a week.

I told my mom we needed to do something fun tomorrow. We're going to Trader Joe's to buy treats to stuff in Monte's first care package. I don't even have his address yet, but I want to have something to send as soon as I do. A trip to Trader Joe's may not sound exciting to you, but I love Joe's. I will indulge in some chocolate therapy while I'm there. Oh, yes.

Time to start moving a small boy up to bed.

Imminent Departure

I haven't sent out an update about Monte's deployment because there hasn't been much to tell! He reported to Camp Lejeune on June 14, underwent training, and then...waited. We (the kids, my mom, and I) drove down for the first two weekends and spent them swimming, playing on the beach, and just hanging out. Monte's team's estimated departure date keep changing, becoming later and later. FINALLY, the commanding officer of the battalion apologized for the continued delays and granted the entire team 12 days leave! By the time this happened, the kids and I were already on the road, headed for New Mexico. Monte arrived by plane the same day we did!

We spent a very lazy, wonderful 12 days playing, relaxing, and just spending time as a family. Last Tuesday we returned Monte to the Albuquerque airport. Suffice it to say, there were lots of tears and we grudgingly loosened our hold to let him through security. Since then, he has been back at Camp Lejeune, waiting again.

After more than a month of limbo, Monte will finally depart for Afghanistan sometime this week. Only the ghost in the bureaucracy knows exactly WHEN this will happen, and it's not very forthcoming. The actual travel time might be very long, with extended layovers. Until they arrive at their destination, we won't be able to have contact - this could be several days.

The team's final destination is Camp Dwyer in Helmand Province. They might stay in camp for the duration of their deployment, combining their equipment with that of similar teams to form a mini-hospital. They might also deploy further forward and work alone. As long as they stay in camp, we should have contact via email. If they move forward, we will likely be out of touch the entire time.

The delays in the team's departure aren't supposed to affect their return date, effectively making this deployment only 4 1/2 months long! Of course, I'm not holding my breath about the timeline, since things can always change...but our hope and prayer is that Monte will be home with us by Christmas.

We ask for your prayers for the safety of the entire team during their travel and work in Afghanistan. We also ask you to pray for boredom! If the team is busy, that means Marines are being seriously injured. Please also pray for the kids and I. We miss Daddy already. Monte taught AJ to tell me, "Daddy will come home" when I am sad - he said it for the first time today.

Monte has started a blog: http://monteinthesand.blogspot.com We don't yet have an address for Monte (email or snail mail), but I will let you all know when we do.

Thank you for your prayers!

deployment...for real this time!

Hello, everyone!

Monte was notified of a new deployment on April 20. Well, I say "new," but this is actually the same deployment as before with a new departure date. Monte reports to Camp Lejeune, NC on June 15 and will depart for Afghanistan approximately 2 weeks later. Unlike last time, he has actual orders for this deployment and even has Marine Corps digital desert camo already.

We've waited to share the news until we had more details. Yesterday, we learned that Monte will be part of an FRSS (Forward Resuscitative Surgery System) with the 2nd Medical Battalion. He will be the sole anesthesia provider on a team with 1 general surgeon, 1 orthopedic surgeon, 1 nurse, 2 hospital corpsmen, and 2 surgical techs. This type of unit is basically an operating room in a tent, located between the front lines and the hospital. The only patients who will be treated in the FRSS are those who are not expected to survive long enough to make it to the hospital.

The living situation will be, in a word, camping - sleeping in tents and eating MREs. A surgeon currently deployed in an FRSS sent Monte a list of recommended equipment which could just as easily be for an extended mountaineering expedition. Their location will always be classified and they will move as the Marines at the front move, probably every couple of weeks. On occasion, they will travel back to one of the larger bases to resupply. It is only on these resupply trips that we will have any contact with Monte - once a month, or perhaps less.

Our prayer requests are for Monte's safety and morale, for good connections between the team members (he'll be with the same 7 people and perhaps a few Marine guards the whole time), and for a strong and bold witness. The Marines who end up on Monte's operating table will be critically injured and close to death. God is choosing to put Monte right next to their ears at that time! Pray for those Monte will treat - they will literally be fighting for their lives.

The kids and I will spend part of the time Monte is away out West and visiting our New York family. We also hope to spend a good chunk of the time here at home. Please pray for AJ. Since the kids and I returned from our trip to New Mexico he has been more attached to Daddy than ever. He asks for Daddy constantly when he is at work. Helping him through Monte's absence will require daily effort. Please pray that Daddy will not become a stranger to Sammy, who will be 6 months old when he leaves. Please pray that we will always be immediately available at the times Monte has access to a computer or a phone so that we do not miss an opportunity to tell him that we love him.

We do not yet have an address for Monte. I'll send it out when we get it - and please do send letters and cards! Without the benefit of internet and phone on a regular basis real mail will be especially welcome. Since his access to the internet will be extremely limited, we probably won't set up a blog for him. Instead, I will post updates on our family blog: http://boodoodle.blogspot.com If you are not already an invited reader, reply to this email and let me know you would like access. I'll add you as soon as I can.

Thanks in advance for your prayers!
Love,
Monte, Gen, AJ, and Sammy

In like a lion...

I thought we lived south of the frost zone here in Hampton Roads...so can anyone explain to me why the high yesterday reached a balmy 25°?

It's March. What? How does the calendar have any right to be in the third month of a year I can't yet remember to write on checks?

At this time last year, we had just lost our baby 3 weeks earlier. Bewildered, I prayed for continued faith and strength and understanding. Now I'm sitting on my bed with a baby monitor on the nightstand, ready to jump up at the sound of Sammy floundering in her crib for the very first time.

It's rare for the reasoning behind loss and pain to be revealed so quickly. I am blessed.

Deployment is still off for now. Another doc from Monte's department was on the deployment, taken off, and is now back on. In the words of Monte's asst dept head, "It's amazing that this country ever wins a war." Whether that's a commentary on personnel planning or retention, I'm unsure. Does it matter??

Today I collected wee tiny outfits for Sammy to wear on the cruise. I started packing with mid-week laundry in mind, then realized that her clothes are so wee and so tiny it doesn't save much space to plan for her to wear things twice. Big brother AJ is much the same. His waist is so small he can wear 18 month pants...and he's 27 months old! Mama and Daddy's clothes are a different story - on to those tomorrow.

Sleep is calling my name. 'night, peeps.

ups and downs

Having two kids is an adventure the likes of which I've not experienced before. I am more sleep deprived, more physically and mentally exhausted, and more pressed for time and energy than ever before. I also have more reasons for joy than ever before.

Samantha is such a sweet baby girl. Her smiles just melt me. She coos - which AJ didn't, so this is new for us. She sings back to me when I sing to her. We have "conversations" back and forth.

I love AJ more than ever. He learns new words every day and has a memory like an elephant. He grows to like Sammy a bit more all the time, though he still doesn't like it when she cries or when he wants my attention and I'm holding her. He pets her and gives her kisses without being asked. He tells her "good morning, Sammy!" All babies are now Sammy. He likes to watch short videos on YouTube (thanks, Stan, for starting that with motorcycles! He's a terror when we turn on the computer now) and any baby in any video is now Sammy.

A few weeks ago, Monte was told that he was deploying to Afghanistan in April. A few days ago, he was told that his billet was cancelled. Am I relieved? Yes...and no. Yes...I'm glad he's not going to Afghanistan in April. No...this does not mean he isn't going at all. He is next up for deployment and many more billets are expected in the near future, so he's still being deployed in the near future. We just don't know *exactly* when. So I'm happy...and I'm not! The enemy you know versus the enemy you know is there but can't see yet.

We had discussed taking a family vacation before he deployed, thinking that deployment would be later this year, or next year (or, if I'm really honest, NEVER. Nothing like a hefty dose of reality to correct wishful thinking.). Before the deployment was cancelled, we planned to go on a Disney Cruise. Trip insurance doesn't cover NOT deploying, and since he will still be deployed sometime soon, we're going anyway! On March 7 we sail on a 7 night cruise...I can't wait. Being out on the ocean is the most peaceful experience I've had. Sammy is barely old enough to go. You have to be 12 weeks old and she will be 12 weeks and 4 days. AJ knows we're going on a Big Boat with Mickey Mouse. We've told him that Mickey is big, like Daddy, to avoid screaming when he's confronted with a 6' rat.

As much as I love being a mama, I'm really not enjoying sleep deprivation. AJ ate on a schedule when he was tiny because of some medicine he had to take - and it had to be EXACTLY every 6 hours. We fed him every 3 hours and he was happy to be scheduled. He'd chow down a bottle in no time flat. Sammy, on the other hand, is not a regular kind of girl. She changes up when and how much she wants to eat every day. It doesn't help that in her short, nearly 11 week life she has had two colds, making slurping on a bottle hard to do. Sometimes she chugs down 5 ounces in 15 minutes. Sometimes she takes 30 minutes to daintily sip 2 ounces. I know she will get to sleeping through the night...I just wish it would happen TONIGHT!

Naptime.

Boy blooming

Well, the last post was a little abbreviated. That's as far as I got when Sammy was a week old and I haven't had the chance to write more until now.

This one is mostly about AJ. :D

AJ is the sweetest big brother I have ever seen. Despite dealing with sharing attention, the stress of just being 2, being able to talk up a storm but not always be understood, and cutting his 2 year molars, he gives Sammy sweet kisses and wrinkles up his face in discomfort when she cries.

Tonight at dinner, Sammy was "sitting" at the table with us in her bouncy seat. (Which used to be AJ's bouncy seat, and which he STILL likes to lay in like a recliner.) AJ was having a hard time being still and eating, I think because of his teeth. All of a sudden, Sammy caught his attention. She was awake and wiggling, kicking her little legs. AJ said, "Dancing! Dancing!" Then he pointed to the coffee table, upon which he likes to stand and dance. "Baby! Sammy! Dancing!"

I just about cried right then. He wanted to dance with his little sister on the table.

And then he said, "Hold you!" That's what he says when he wants to be held, a copycat of what I say when he's upset - "Mama will hold you...." Except he wasn't saying it to me, or Daddy, or his Mimi. He was saying "Hold you!" and extending his arms to Sammy.

My little boy wanted to hold his little sister and dance with her.

OH.

MY.

GOODNESS!

One other piece of cuteness today: he has shown some preliminary interest in the potty. He says "potty" around the time he needs to go, or when he has just gone. When he says it we usually go sit on the potty for a little while. He often does some peeping, but has yet to poo. Tonight he was a very tooty boy and after one big toot, Daddy asked him if he needed to go potty. He said yes and off to the bathroom they went. The trip was unproductive in term of potty usage, but AJ climbed up on his stool to wash his hands at the sink afterwards anyway. Monte asked me to bring him the camera, which I thought a little odd, but I did it anyway. After a few minutes, they came out.

AJ has learned what the camera does and he likes to see the pictures after we take them. He says, "show me!" After he and Daddy came out of the bathroom and he had a new diaper on, he picked up the camera and sat down on the sofa. He first put the strap around his neck and then looked at the screen on the back of the camera.

Then he said, "TOOT!"

Daddy said, "What?"

"TOOT! TOOT!"

A lightbulb blinked on for Daddy - "AJ, do you mean you want to see the pictures of your buns?"

"YES!"

See, the pictures Daddy took of AJ washing his hands were pantless, diaperless pics. He was standing on the stool at the sink in only his shirt, and his wee buns were hanging out in free view of the camera lens. Daddy had let him see the pics just after he took them, so AJ knew his buns were captured on film. Or digital media - whatever.

Having a little sister is proving to be a catalyst for AJ's sweetness to bloom. I didn't think I could love him more, but I was wrong.

Boy, am I happy to be wrong.

Finally!

Finally! I am sitting down to write on our blog.

Finally! Our daughter is born and we are safely home from the hospital.

Finally! AJ can see his baby sister.

Finally! We have two kiddos - one of each. :D

So...where to begin? Where I left off, I suppose. I was on bedrest. The day after AJ's birthday we had our small group from church over to have a little celebration. The grandmothers made sugar cookies for the kids to decorate, we ordered pizza, and we sang some Christmas carols. We also talked with one of our friends who is a 3rd year OB resident. When we told him about my preeclampsia and elevated blood pressure, he was really surprised that I hadn't had a C-section on the spot on Thursday. Hmm...that bothered Monte and I more than we could say. Labor and Delivery was extremely busy on Thursday and we had wondered if I was being sent home because of the schedule, and not truly because there was no danger in waiting a few more days to deliver.

On Monday morning I woke up with a headache. It felt like a musculoskeletal headache, like when you sleep funny and get a crick in your neck. I told Monte and he got the blood pressure cuff. It wasn't super high, something like 136/84, but for having been in bed all night laying down (not to mention that my normal, pre-pregnancy BP is around 110/68), it wasn't fabulous. I had to go in for my pre-op appointment that morning, so I got up and my mom drove me to the hospital. Monte had some free time at work and went down to L&D to ask one of the residents about my headache. She said to come over when I was done with my pre-op, so we did. After several hours of waiting around for lab results and general busyness, I walked into the OR a little bit before 4:00 pm.

I can't say I'm happy with the overall experience in the OR. I am very glad that my daughter was born safely, but let me just say that I am going to be writing a letter to the hospital administration about the behavior of some people that day.

Flipping, pee, and bedrest

The last week has been a blur. Last Wednesday I went to the hospital for the proposed flipping event. The nurse greeted me with, "Uh, you didn't call before you came in?" "Uh, no. No one told me to do that."

Turns out they were super busy and not sure they would be able to do the flipping that day. After sitting around for over an hour, enough labor rooms cleared that I was stuck with an IV and moved to a monitored bed. I had an epidural (not as bad as I thought it would be, and despite Monte's dire predictions of my histrionics, I behaved excellently). It's quite an odd feeling for your body to go to sleep from the chest down.

The smooshing commenced around 10 am. After greasing up my tum with copious amounts of ultrasound gel, one doc worked at budging our girl's buns while another maneuvered her head. First, they tried to make her do a backwards somersault. When that failed, they tried again in a forward somersault. After about a minute of smooshing, they checked her heart rate - not good. It had plummeted to 60 (from 140). The OR tech was alerted to ready the operating room and they gave the baby 60 seconds to improve. Within about 90 seconds, her heart rate was back up into the 120s, so an emergency C-section was averted.

After the epidural wore off, we went home. That evening, our dear friends arrived from Buffalo to spend the weekend with us. I overdid it a bit on Thanksgiving, bustling about in the kitchen. My back was really sore, partly from the epidural and partly from laying in an uncomfortable hospital bed for 4 hours the day before. I love it when my birthday falls on Thanksgiving - yummy turkey, yummy pie (chocolate pecan is my favorite), and lots of friends and family.

We had a great time over the weekend. On Sunday morning we went to church and I could feel myself swell up a little. It was really hot in the sanctuary and I just figured that the heat, coupled with standing up to sing, messed with my circulation a bit. That evening, I asked Monte to check my blood pressure. It was on the high side - not outrageously, but high considering that my normal is on the low side (and that I had been laying down on the couch for a while before he took it). The next night I asked him to check it again. 148/98 is high for anyone! That earned us a trip to Labor and Delivery. Of course, once we got there my blood pressure came down. Baby's heart rate was fine. They ran PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension) labs, all of which were negative. About 3 am, we got to come home. Along with us came a container for me to collect my pee for 24 hours. Now that's fun when you need to pee 3 times a night. And when you pee more than the container can hold? I had to, um, fill an extra water bottle. Yeah.

I went back to the hospital yesterday with my jug o' pee (and overflow sidecar) and had to wait in L&D for the results. My blood pressure was mildly elevated and the baby looked fine. After 4 painful hours of waiting on the lab (the wrong test was ordered initially, so everything took twice as long as it would have otherwise), I was informed that I have too much protein in my pee. Ugh. That means preeclampsia. It's mild, just over the threshold. The resident thought I was 39 weeks, so she told me I'd be having a C-section that day. I'm only 38 weeks, though, so they ended up sending me home instead.

All this week I've just seen whoever was on duty in L&D at the time, not my actual doctor. I emailed her last night to let her know what had happened. This morning she emailed me back to say that I'm on bedrest until Tuesday, when I have a scheduled C-section. If anything bad happens between now and then our girl will be born sooner. "Bad" meaning elevated BP, blurry vision, bad headache, abdominal pain, etc.

Eek.

Funny how staying in bed all day looses its appeal when you MUST do it. I'm not even through one whole movie yet and I'm terribly bored. Thus, you all get a long update!

There is more to write - funny things AJ is doing, etc. Since I have such a long time to sit here, I don't want to wear out all of my musings at once! Then what will I do???

The day before

Today is the day before The Big Flipperoo. One of our new friends here in VA is a 3rd year OB resident and the descriptive word he chose to use concerning The Flip?

"Medieval."

Oh, joy.

I'm really not looking forward to this. I'm not looking forward to sitting in the hospital for hours (I am a lower priority than C-sections, so if there are patients in line for those I have to wait), to the IV, to the epidural, to The Smooshing. I'm not looking forward to the hours I will have to sit there waiting for the epidural to wear off.

But...

I am looking forward to meeting my daughter. To AJ becoming a big brother. Last night he was playing with his stuffed animals, making Daddy give them piggy back rides. He even wanted his Curious George to sit with him at dinner. He also has a little tiny George - he put him in the baby's carseat, which was sitting on the floor in the family room, and said, "Baby!" Yesterday he opened all of the drawers in her room to see the neatly folded (for now) stacks of clothes and towels and burp cloths and said, "Baby!" I don't know how deep the comprehension flows...but it's dawning.

I am looking forward to not being pregnant any more. Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't trade this experience for the WORLD, especially since I truly didn't think I would have it, ever. But I am exhausted and sleep only a few hours each night, and those not continuously.

I am looking forward to seeing my husband with his little girl. I hope she has his nose and blue eyes and rosy cheeks. And my hair (sorry, love).

I am looking forward to all of our dreams becoming reality, in the form of a tiny someone who will smile up at us. In a few weeks, anyway. And who will learn to crawl after her brother, and steal his toys, and chew on them, and mimic him adoringly.

Wow. I can't wait.

The Monday before Thanksgiving

Every few years, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving. This is one of those years. I'm going to turn the big 3-0 in 4 days. Or is it 3? I never know if I should count TODAY in that.

Before I do, I need to finish readying the house for our guests, cook a few things, vacuum, get my hair cut...and, oh, maybe meet my daughter face to face.

I'm going in for The Big Flipperoo on Wednesday and it may turn out to be her birthday. In which case HERS will fall on Thanksgiving next year - that would be cool. After talking to several more docs and checking out some Cochrane reviews, I've decided that I will get an epidural for this procedure. The OB who's going to do the flipping prefers that I don't, but the success rate jumps from 24% to 60-something% and there is no increased incidence of adverse outcomes. Plus, should something go wrong and I need an emergent C-section, the epidural will be in place and they can immediately get her out. If I don't have it, they have to induce general anesthesia and that is much, much riskier. And it takes longer.

So I get the huge needle in my back. Fun. Monte seems to think this is no big deal. Probably comes with having poked people with said needle hundreds of times. I would like to state for the record, however, that he has never had said needle in his OWN back.

Time for a little breakfast. Baby is so demanding.

36 weeks

So I'm 36 weeks along now. Little girl is still breech and I have a version scheduled for next Wednesday. That's right - the day before Thanksgiving. Fun! For those unfamiliar with the term (my mom thought I was saying I had an "aversion" scheduled - like I was set to dislike something that day), the official lingo is "external cephalic version," which means moving the baby's head by smooshing on my tummy from the outside. Not that I would even want to think about an INternal version...eek.

Next Tuesday I go in for a preop appointment and then I show up bright and early (0700...ah!) on Wednesday to be smooshed. This is done without any pain medication because I have to be able to tell the doctor when it hurts too much! AAAAH!

Between now and then I'm going to the pool nearly everyday to do handstands. Sounds silly, I know, but it's supposed to work a significant portion of the time, like 70%. If it will keep me from a C-section, I'll do it.

All this means I have an insane amount to do this week. I need to get all of the shopping done at the grocery store and Costco - did I mention we're having 5 (maybe 6) houseguests for Thanksgiving? - finish washing baby clothes and putting them away, clean the bathrooms, floors, anything else that's dirty, pick up toys...and maybe squeeze in a nap or two. Yeesh.

In fun baby preparation news, we bought a double stroller yesterday! We took it for a test spin at Lowe's. The seats are removable and reversible so we put AJ in the front and then had the HUGE underbasket to use like a shopping cart.

Some AJisms...

He LOVES TO RUN. When he wants out of the stroller or down from our arms to do a lap, he yells, "RUNNING! RUNNING!" His actual "run" is much more like a prance, with little arms flailing and an adorable bouncyness to his steps. It's the fully abandoned run of an almost two year old.

He will be 2 in less than 3 weeks. My baby! He can count to 3, but his favorite number is 2.

He can say "apple." If you ask him to say "applesauce," however, you get A-S-*. That's right folks. No apple. Just a donkey. How appetizing.

He is becoming multisyllabic and even forming some sentences. He can say "microwave" clear as day. His only 3 word sentence to date? "Put me down." Talk about a strong will.

He has learned the word "MINE." Uh-oh...

When he wants to hold something in his hands, either that you have or he sees but cannot reach, he asks to "have it." The way it comes out, though, is "HOBBIT! HOBBIT!" Always makes me think of Jake & Dawn. (love you guys!)

He's into "driving" things with wheels. He is such a boy. He will get down on his hands and knees and push wheeled toys for ages. While at the store buying the stroller, he entertained himself for a half hour with a truck, pushing it around on the floor. His pants were filthy, but he was happy.

AJ knows his sister's name and where her room is. He asks to go in her room and look around. I think he's mostly confused at why his crib and changing table are in there now, but he is somewhat cognizant that something big is going to happen. He likes to kiss my tummy when I ask him where his sister is.

It's 6:30 am now and I need to eat and get in some Bible study before he wakes up. He's already slept 30 min longer than yesterday, so I'm pushing my luck! Going swimming this morning, then to Costco. Always fun with a toddler.

the countdown

OK, I've slacked for nearly a month. I started getting up with Monte (at 5 am...*yawn* and have been able to take a shower and have quiet time with God in the morning, but blogging has taken a backseat as AJ started rising earlier. He has now been in his big boy bed for a week, which also bumped his wake up a bit earlier. I think he might have been waking up earlier before, too, but instead of quiet play in his bed, he jumps up and runs out his door. Overall, the transition has been OK. He has a terrible cold with a fever and all, so he hasn't slept well. Last night was the first that he stayed in bed the whole night. Nevermind that it took over an hour to get him to GO to bed...

We reassembled his crib in his sister's room and he's a little confused by that. This morning, though, he asked to go to her room and look around. Maybe he thought she'd be in there??? We still need to move the changing table (which AJ is far too long for) into her room and hang up some curtains.

Speaking of her, I'm 35 weeks now and very ready to bring this little girl into the world. She's breech and also very low, so I'm praying that she does a flip in the next few weeks! I'm supposed to lay with pillows under my bum and my feet up to encourage her to do a sommersault.

I see my doc on Wednesday to see how I'm coming along. I had an ultrasound last week and she is already 4 lbs 15 oz! That's somewhere between 10th and 50th percentile (though why such a big range I don't know). I'm scheduled for another one in my 39th week, but it could be too late by then. If she doesn't flip over in the next two weeks I will likely have a version (where they push on my tum to make her flip) the week of Thanksgiving. If it's successful and not too hard on her, I'll be sent home to pray she doesn't flip back. If it isn't successful, or she goes into distress from the pushing and shoving, I'll have a C section. Poo.

A few cutenesses:

AJ calls flamingos "mingos." His favorite movie is Cars, which I've let him watch 3 times in the last few days due to his fever and sickiness. He's a big fan of Mater. His favorite part of the movie is when Mack is falling asleep on the road and wiggles and jiggles his face to wake up. AJ laughs loudly at this. He is a kissing machine. Yesterday he came to our room at 6 am and went to sleep curled up with me. When he woke up a little later he smiled, took out his binky, and laid a big smooch on me. Then he giggled.

That's life.

odds and ends

Funny things I must record:

This morning I was in the kitchen making oatmeal for Boo. I heard him in the family room playing with his toys. He said, "Toys! Daddy! No-no!" Uh-oh...I came around the corner to find him playing with Daddy's new PS3 remote. Daddy's toy, yes. No-no, yes. HA!

In the van on the way to the hospital we reviewed animal sounds. He knows cow, piggy, horse, froggy, owl, tiger, cat, puppy...and others, can't remember. We were listening to one of my favorite songs by Third Day and I asked him, "Can you say Jesus?"

Pause.

AJ, can you say Jesus?

Pause.

JEEP!

hee-hee, sweetie, can you say JEE-ZUS?

JEEP! JEEP!

LOL

rushing headlong

I saw my doc today. All is well. I asked my OB if I could bring AJ to my next appointment if I had to (like if he has a cold or something) and she said sure, it's no big deal.

WHAT?? Then why is there a huge sign saying DON'T BRING KIDS TO YOUR APPOINTMENT??

AJ did fine at the daycare. The only one NOT sobbing. He actually didn't want to leave - he was riding a little toy motorcycle and didn't even come to us when we came to get him. How dare he be so independent?

I feel like time is moving at an ever-increasing pace. Christmas is 10 weeks away. The big 40 week mark is 9 weeks away. Little miss will likely make her appearance before that. AJ's 2nd birthday is 7 weeks away. My 30th birthday is 6 weeks away. My mom will be here in 2 weeks. My dad is coming in 1 week.

Little chunks of time lined up like lily pads to hop on, one to the next. Before I know it, each milestone reached...and it will be Christmas morning with a new baby girl under the tree. In a soft, white velour jumper her Mimi bought for her, in the lap of her big brother in an adorable Christmas plaid shirt and herringbone pants.

Which reminds me, I need to get him some black shoes!

For now, I need to get some pictures up on the wall.

why we've gone private

Molly asked me if something had happened to prompt the locking up of this blog. Good question, Molly! I didn't mean to freak anyone out - sorry. :D

Nothing in particular happened. We wanted this blog to be private from the beginning. I did set it to be unsearchable by Google and unlisted in the Blogger blogroll. Trouble is, I suddenly realized that there are links to our site from a lot of blogs that are NOT private, which pretty much makes all of the security measures I had taken moot.

I also try to be nonspecific when it comes to locations, names, etc, but honestly, I'm bad at it. I'd rather lock it up and write freely. Plus, I have avoided posting pictures for quite a while due to privacy issues, so this way you'll all get to see the family more often.

So that's the scoop.

I have a doc appt this morning at 0920 (gotta start using military time again!). Since that means I'll be driving in rush hour traffic and must take on either a 2 lane tunnel or a bridge under construction, I need to leave the house around 0800. That's my goal, anyway, which probably means we'll leave around 0815. This house runs on toddler time, after all.

We're going to give the child waiting center a shot. If I get there and have the heebie jeebies, he's coming with me, period. If I knew it was a fun, safe, clean place staffed with nice people, I wouldn't be worried. It's the sight unseen aspect that nags me.

My huge belly and I need to take a shower.

another big day

So tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor. I'm 31 weeks along. The OB clinic has a "no kids allowed" policy, meaning I can't take AJ along with me. Since we don't have anyone to watch him while I'm gone, I have to take him to the "child waiting center" at the hospital. Daycare, basically.

Let me first say that I'm not knocking daycare here. I am blessed to be at home with my son.

This completely freaks me out. AJ has never been left with anyone he doesn't know, with the exception of the past few Sundays at our new church. I know that he will be OK, because he is a resilient little guy. He will likely cry when I leave, but only until I'm out of sight. It's more that I know nothing about this place or the people who work there. I didn't get to "shop" for a daycare I liked, people I trusted. This is just what the hospital provides and my only option. What if they aren't nice? What if they don't hug him when he cries? And some total stranger changing his diaper??? I REALLY don't like that. And he's too small to tell me if something bad happens. If he were 4 and could talk and reason and report to me afterwards, I wouldn't be so worried.

It is possible that Daddy will be able to come with me to the appointment, in which case I say "phthbbbbt" to the no-kid policy. Daddy can hold him on his lap. He won't bug anyone.

And if Daddy can't come, I will be doing some serious praying tomorrow.

Moving sucks.

independence day

AJ asserts his little self waaaaay more than he used to do. Today, he had his first real screaming fit. Fortunately, we were at home and not in public. He wanted to climb onto a plastic bin sitting underneath a light switch, so that he could flip the switch on and off. He had been doing that while I did laundry, but I was done and it was time for lunch, so we needed to go downstairs. I told him no and lifted him down. He went into his "He-Man" stance with biceps flexed in true Mr. Universe style and began to scream. His face turned crimson and I did my best not to giggle. My sweet boy! If I'd had the camera I would have captured that face for posterity. I'm sure it isn't the last time I'll see it, though.

He has learned so many words, but there are dozens I know he's TRYING to say and just can't make intelligible to me. He's frustrated by that and all of the "nos" he hears in a day. Sorry, honey, you can't sit on top of the loveseat like it's a pony - you might fall off the back and hurt yourself. Sorry, love, throwing food (or mushing it in your hair) is not allowed. I love you, but I can't let you run with scissors!

Tonight as I rocked him to sleep I told him I know it's hard to be small. It's hard to have so much to say and not be able to make Mama understand. And that's it's hard for me when he doesn't obey me. AND that I love him all the time. That there is never a moment I don't love him completely, no matter what he's doing or how red in the face *I* might be.

He will become his own little person. What am I saying? He already is.

week 30 and the Big Peep

We've reached 30 weeks and I feel enormous. Maybe I'll be brave and post a picture. Little girl must have "Twist and Shout" running through her mind, because all she does is wiggle and kick. I'm glad for it, because every time I feel her move I know she's OK.

We're closing in on the home stretch. In the next few weeks we need to get her room ready, transition AJ out of his crib and into a big boy bed, figure out where to establish a downstairs changing station, reassemble and clean the carseat, swing, bouncy, etc, work out our home office dilemma (where to put it and finding a desk to fit), and about a million other things.

Not much to do, huh?

AJ, aka Spiderman, learns something new everyday. Yesterday evening, we achieved PEEPING in the POTTY! He was "pretending" with the potty, sitting on it, getting up and closing the lid, then opening it and sitting again...so Daddy decided to strip him of his pants and diaper and see what would happen. AJ sat down and I asked him, "Can you go peepee?" Next thing we knew...tinkle tinkle!!!!

Mr. Tinkle needs some breakfast. More later.

la-loo!

AJ is learning new words every day. He probably knows more words than I even realize, since I can't understand what he's saying a good portion of the time. My new favorite phrase of his? La-loo.

That's "i love you," folks. We often video chat with my mom (and have done it a few times with Daddy while he's away) and, a few days ago, she said, "I love you" to AJ. He echoed it back almost perfectly. Since that first time, he has shortened it to "la-loo." It is by far the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

He is also obsessed with the word "bus." Any vehicle larger than a sedan is now a "bus," including our minivan. He has a little toy bus that he loves to roll across the floor. He's getting really good at making his toy motorcycle go "vroom, vroom" just about everywhere. His airplane now "flies" while he says, "whoosh, whoosh!" He pretended to pour me some "wa-dee" out of a teapot. He has told me that little pieces of cheese are choo-choos and airplanes and made them chug-chug or whoosh accordingly. He "loves" his stuffed animals now, giving them his binkie and sharing his drink with them. This morning he wanted to hold Elmo while I changed his diaper and he said, "Elmo, binkie! Elmo, binkie!" as he shoved his bink into Elmo's mouth.

He is growing so fast! He resists me more, reminding me that the twos are coming. He loves to knock all of his books off of the shelf and actively seeks out the cordless phone despite knowing that it is off limits to him.

His little sister is growing, too. I've figure out where her feet must be, since she kicks me ferociously throughout most of the day. Her head is up under my ribs, I think. I can feel it when she pushes her feet against my side and stretches her head up into my diaphragm. Right now she's poking at my bladder.

(pee break)

Did I mention that we've decided on a name for her? Don't bother to ask, though, because we're not telling! Well, we'll tell when she makes her big appearance, but not before then.

Speaking of which, I need to go work in her room and get it cleared of all the boxes of craft and office stuff that are crammed in there.

:)

things i don't want to forget

AJ does so many little things that are both simply adorable and uniquely him. I don't want to forget these things as he grows up. This blog is really his baby book, you see, because I type much faster than I write and this is the place I remember to record his antics.

AJ loves motorcycles. Whenever he sees one (in real life, in a picture, on TV) he says, "VROOM VROOM!!" Our friend Dustin taught him to make the wrist gesture of revving the motorcycle and he DOES it. A little twist of the wrist, a little VROOM, and we're off!

AJ loves airplanes. He saw a segment on Sesame Street with kids running through a park making airplane arms. A little song played..."I'm a little airplane - neeoowwwww, neeooowwww." Whenever he sees an airplane he says "NEOW NEOW!" and does his version of airplane arms (basically waving arms up & down). He also HEARS airplanes with unbelievable acuity. He will start yelling, "NEOW NEOW!" and I will look around for a picture of one before I realize that he's caught the extremely faint sound of a jet overhead.

AJ refers to things by their sound, not their name. For example, he calls cows "moos," horsies "neighs," kitties "meows," etc. There are exceptions to this. He says "puppy," but not "woof." He has a book that shows three piggies singing "la la la" and so that is what piggies say, instead of "oink." Cars are "zoom zooms" and the aforementioned motorcycles are "vroom vrooms," but he says "truck" (or something like it).

He gives kisses, when he feels like it. Sometimes unsolicited. He will climb on the couch next to me and lay four or five wet ones on my face. Or leg. Or arm. Or clothes. Wherever he can reach.

He does not say words for which he knows signs. For example, he does not say "please," "thank you," "milk," or "excuse me." But he signs all of those things. He pronounces water "wa-dee" and uses that word for all drinks. He does say "juice," but only if we do first.

OK, that's the first installation of things I don't want to forget.